Saturday, March 29, 2008

say no more.

i really hate it when i cry.
when i cry due to frustration.
or fear. or well, just sadness.

i know life's not perfect. im not asking for a perfect life either, cause i know that sucks as much. im just asking for simple things in life, i bet thats not so hard to get right?

im sorry if i've been a bitch lately.
im very close to giving up this fight. and just letting my emotions take me over.

im sorry if i've been keeping to myself and refusing to talk.
i know its not good, but i'd rather keep everything to myself.
since this world is full of liars. im no exception.

im sorry i've been a fool. cause its time i get over you.
its not like im ever gonna give my heart a chance to change my mindset.

im sorry i suck in acting. cause i just cant seem to conceal the way i feel through my actions, thoughts and words.

im sorry that you're starting to grow into the picture. i nvr rly thought this would happen. but who else could give me so much confidence, pride and laughter?

im sorry that i always judge people. its not my fault that it's human nature to judge someone based on first impressions/experiences. cause like, i dont believe that such people dont have a good side to them. we're all humans.

i have many precious memories within me. i realise, that one of my worst fear is to lose my memory, and forget about every bittersweet moment that had happened throughout my life.

amirah,
do you rmb the times when we hang out tgt all the time, play tgt, stick tgt throughout those 3 yrs in kindergarten, how we would go crazy over spice girls and barbie dolls?
cause i do.
(i miss you darling, where are you?)

azyan,
do you rmb the times when we were so close,when you were my first best friend in the new sch, when you were the one who made me feel like i fit into the new sch?
cause i do.
(thanks and sorry love, i'll promise to meet up very soon)

rename,
do you rmb the times when i had just gone through the worst days and you guys turned it around and made my day? when we will just be happy and gay and free?
cause i do.
(you guys are awesome all in all, loved you, loves you and will always do)

girlclique,
do you rmb, the times when we would run into problems, but we would brave through it tgt? when we would support each other and reach out to one another, love each other with all our hearts?
cause i do.
(the great teachers in my life, mould me into who i am now. you guys are incomparable, i swear.)

hanizah,
do you rmb the times when you would hold me tight, give me your support and was the only one who held me through that crisis?
the silly arguments we used to have, which only made us understand each other more?
cause i do.
(its okay not to be close at all anymore. just dont be a minah, okay love)

SWQ,
do you rmb BG station, the way i sucked at pretence? when your antics would make me smile?
cause i do.
(i still suck at pretence. but i wont deny bout the whole issue, cause you're rly an awesome person)

family,
do you rmb the times when those days back then would just go by happily, no bickerings or disagreements? when life goes on just like a story from a fairytale?
cause i do.
(and i love all four of you, i rly do.)

M,
do you rmb the times when we would rant to each other bout random, silly stuff? when we would go around sch and be too shy most of the time to say anth more than a hi?
cause i do.
(im glad the hamster's still alive and you didnt drown it. and hope your relationship with that person goes on smoothly (:)
-
-
okay i think i talked too much now. woah. i realised just by typing this post, i've released alot of my emotions/ angst. and im feeling tons better now. which is good. i should do this more often man.

xoxo
hanisah

APPLES!
9:31 AM

yah azizi is mahiri;

this week was more tiring and hectic than the weeks before.

lets see. on thurs i actually went for csp 1/2 way through angklung. and im sure glad i did causeeee we played charades! :D hahaha i was Laughing My Ass Off. i learnt a lot and caught up on my work, plus the company's goooood. (:

yest's trip to the L place was the highlight of the day. escalator incident was maluating but damn funny. i shant elaborate much here so do go to www.xanga.com/recessionblues to read about the amazingly interesting incident. nyahaha.

BUT i finally bumped into harneyZah! :DD yeah, of all places. i ~~miss~~ that minah!

so yest, i was horrified at myself. it was 9. i was reading through the amath formulas on my bed. it was so comfy and i was tired, so i started to lie down while reading it. and god knows when/how come, i fell asleep. till 12 plus. then i panicked and started msg-ing ppl. and agn, i have no idea how come, but i fell asleep agn...till 6.30 in the morn. madness cause i didnt even do my mly karangan, nor did i complete my hist essay. (you see, the teachers said tt the work's due by the end of the week. and me being who i am, literally take their word for it and always hand in my work on saturdays.)

so went to sch for emath mock (sad for me) and amath. after which, me and raihan had cheap thrills :DD (at the L place, mind you) you know, lotone can never run out of good food. i've been there manymany times, i can confidently say over 10 times since this year only, and i nvr get tired of the food there.

and my dad told us smth which i thought was very...thought-provoking and doesnt make sense. cause you see, in the company which he works in, there was a high demand for the aircons. and, they had been getting the aircons from the original factory/place itself, which is in japan. but then, for that particular time/week, the demand was too high such that the branch's not allowed to order anymore. so, there will be no more stock and ppl will have to wait till next month if they want it. i thought thats very weird. i mean like, isnt it better to have higher sales? so like yknow, the company can make money? but its funny though. when he told me that, my first reaction was to laugh. ok, its just rly very thought-provoking and my dad totally didnt help in enlightening me.

my mum's rly considering to learn how to drive (yeah, the last time she wanted to but in the end didnt, was 10 yrs ago) and so is my sis. this is cool. my dad can buy a new sleek motorcycle to drive to work to, so my mum/sis can drive/ fetch me to and from sch :D

on the darker side, i lost a member of the extended family just 3 days ago. i may not be close to her (my late grandaunt) but everyone's so bonded i still do feel the pain. but what im sad about is not abt tt.
it started on mon, my mum called me up to tell me tt she's at the hospital, so which means i have to get my own dinner after sch. my dad came home from work after fetching my sis from sch. he asked me if i wanted to come along. but i declined, with the reason i have a test the next day and lots of hmwk to do.
the next day, the same thing happened. my dad asked me the same thing agn, but yet agn, i declined his offer. but, i found out tt my grandaunt had actually slipped in the toilet, hit her head, and her skull cracked. so she had been in the ICU for the past few days, lying unconscious. i was quite terrified (and slow). so i made a promise to myself to rly rly visit her this weekend, no matter what.
i thought, i thought i had that much time. it nvr crossed my mind tt anth would happen during tt short period of time.
but on wed, my mum called me in the middle of lit, and she told me bout the news. she's gone.
i was quite speechless actually.
but as you know, you cant turn back time. no matter what, i cant bring her back to life, i cant see her agn for just one more time. to make things worse, i cant even attend her funeral cause as usual, my lessons only ends at 3.15.

but this, made me learn so much.
i'll learn to cherish everyone every single day, with every single way possible.
i'll learn to put my family above myself and my studies.
this incident had woken me up. that i cant turn back time. that i cant take anything for granted, how little or small it is.

this is such a weirdly long post man.

(mujko samhjo dil peh mat lo)

xoxo
hanisah

im sorry i lied to you.
you know you'll still be in my heart.

APPLES!
3:26 AM

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

okay, some pics are late. totally not in order:

(we look so damn serious. HAHA. sab only ate 1/2 her food! *starts lecture on kids in africa not having enough to eat*)

sports day= lousy stadium + weird ppl + bad weather + boredom

aye, so cool dont you think. we took this pic and coincidentally, the word keller is right on top of our heads!

i think, this pic is amazing. like the balloons behind us looks like its meant to be there. nice background, i say.

liylove!

hoho my new ec! NYAHAH. she's the cutest thing on earth, i swear.

we look so...big. hahah.

today, i was busy rushing through my csp notes for my test. and yknow where schools have this idol thingy? well yes, clementi town has one too and had their auditions just now. i was panicky, cause i rly know nuts. in the midst of it all, suddenly, there was this guy, who started strumming on his guitar, singing I'm Yours. it was so beautiful, so goddamn beautiful it made me stop for a moment.
&
also, on the way back home in lava's parent's car, I'm Yours, the acoustic version, started playing. and at the same exact time, we passed by ABCDEFGHI (in short, my fav place/area). once again, it was such a beautiful moment.

im beginning to love tuesdays now, and today was one of the better tuesdays. csp test was hell but its okay. cause ~~today~~ everyday is my day.

me and siti discovered smth new. consuming too much apricots is rly bad. cause we were munching on em throughout the whole day (monday) and after tt, we experienced this burning feeling in our throats, which rose up right to our ears. very stingyyy. and my lips was swollen for a moment there. oh, plus it causes very bad constipation too. haha see, a little is nice, but too much is badddddd. very baddddd

oh. saturday was total love. thanks sab for the morning <3
lunched with norm peeps + nazreen. and ymc-ed after tt.
ymc was good, it was somewhat make-up donut day. cause frm crescent, only the usual 6 of us were there. and we each had at least 3 munchy donuts. for free. yummyumm.

zan freaked me just now. she was telling me bout the sec2s doing the same skit as we did 2 yrs ago for drama. and she started reciting her lines. FROM TWO YEARS BACK. TWO YEARS! the exact same lines. im surrounded by freaky ppl/friends.

from now on, tuesdays are going to be lovely days. oh, mass run was awesome btw. finally, finally we had mass run. for once in my whole entire crescent life, im happy/excited for it.

xoxo
hanisah

its not everyday that i can see you smile that way;
cause everytime i see you, my heart skips a beat.

APPLES!
6:49 AM

Friday, March 21, 2008

you are as sweet as candy; you're my sugar dandy

its so late now and i ought to go to sleep cause im meeting sab damn early tmr (such an unearthly hour) and i gotta wake up at 6.
but today's 22nd march (:

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY HANIZAH! :D
ahh loves. (damn they're all turning legal this yr!) she'll probably not read this and i wont make her to do so. but i can tell you, she's one of the most awesome snrs i've had in crescent. maybe the most awesome one even. im not exaggerating just cause she used to be my ec or whatsoever.
but for the awesome friendship,
for the countless times when we will be entertaining each other in classes via sms (in sec2),
for the lessons you've taught me (abt life and yeah, studies too),
for helping me through hard times,
for keeping me warm and safe,
for the advices tt i still keep in mind till now,
for the smiles you have given me,
thank you a hell lot.
i think i lost you somewhere. old times that i miss but cant get back. we'll meet up for coffee someday soon, i hope.

and happy birthday too, to GERALDINE, IZMIR and HAKIMAH (:
haha though all of them most probably wont read this. (cause one's my jnr, the other one's my pri sch friend whom im so not close to, and the other is my previous crescent snr whom im not even sure if she knows i exist. HAHA)
but so cooooool. before this i didnt know that many ppl that i know celebrates their bday on 22nd march (((: <- got to know tt through friendster lol

for many songs, i dont rly look much into the lyrics. but till today, i didnt realise how beautiful the song I'm Yours by Jason Mraz is. rly rly beautiful song. a la peaceful melody.

its dumb, i've never cried over something so stupid before. but today i did and i dont know why. pms, pms.
im suddenly feeling all so inferior, stupid, broken.
you can add selfish to the list too.

tmr's a long day (8am to 11pm!) and i ought to be asleep by now. but god, i just cant.

we can let go of people, but where are we supposed to leave the memories? cause memories are stubborn, they wont ever leave.

xoxo
hanisah

APPLES!
9:17 AM

Thursday, March 20, 2008

curang yang mana, yang dapat memisahkan rasa setiaku ini

ohmyshit there's PRELIMS el oral next fri/sat and noone in my class knows bout it. until i find out from ain, who is in s2, and at least mrs rupa did inform them way beforehand. im we're doomed. and i have no freaking idea why the orals are so early when prelims is like...6 months later.

plus, my friend's having this performance with her sisters. as in a SPECIAL&GRAND concert just by the 3 of them. and i found out tt actually, they need to hold their own concert to like, get smth like a diploma, a cert to be a qualified dance teacher. like OMG how cool shit is that :0 a qualified dance TEACHER at 16! amazing man, amazing. im so proud of you.

and i've such a random friend. like siti. she just randomly msged me to tell me that today she went out without tying her hair and she hadnt done so in a very long time. -.-

mengikut hati; tidak menghiraukan yang lain.

APPLES!
11:33 AM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

im so freaking pissed.
i wrote one whole long angsty post to prove many many many points. (nvm i dont care i shall rewrite the post agn i dont careeeeeeee)
and it just screwed up and DISAPPEAR.
today's wednesday, so its not unexpected that i just had a bad day. mentally, physically, emotionally.
i cant get any more angsty today.
blogger, you cheated my feelings so badly. goodbye to you for the moment.
and for the mean time, i'll be @imahappyballon. uhuh.

~~xoxo~~
hanisah

APPLES!
9:00 AM

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy 9th birthday!
hope you like the bag tt i got you (: (lol you better do)
love you muchhhh :D

and

Happy Donut Day (:
we're no longer having anymore donut day soon though, cause we're getting sick of donuts. maybe smth else. like pastry day or cookie day or cupcake day or ice cream day or cake day. okay i dont know.

there's hist mock test tmr and you know how much i dislike hist tests of any sort. its nice to travel back into history but ohwell, i dont know. SBQs and SEQs are not rly my cup of tea. if they're ever gonna allow us to drop combined humans, i'll be the first in the school (or singapore for that matter). and i dont care if i've paid for the o's. they say combined's easier. but i dont see the point in getting a grade twice better for your pure humans than combined, everytime. this really sucks.
i feel very lousy lately i dont know why. i cant stop feeling stupid for wasting my holidays away just like that and not even study. can you believe it. my hols gone, just like that.
okay, im feeling very angsty now. im not gonna appear online though. i dont feel like talking to anyone. but if you rly need to talk to me, or feel like you can cheer me up(hahahehehoho), do just send a msg there. if im online i'll reply you k thanks.

but. on a brighter note. siti realised we could use that song for our taridra moves and its rly hilarious. lol.
oh and just to let the world know. yes, the other night i dreamt of joanne huang. JOANNE HUANG! of all ppl. hurrrr.
plus, there's crazy sales going on everywhere and its driving me nuts. cause the next time i'll have time to shop and not be broke will most prolly be around after exams. which is bad. retail therapy seriously helps, you know.

xoxo
hanisah

APPLES!
8:34 AM

Saturday, March 15, 2008

everyone's so sad that some danny guy from a.i. is out.
and i had no clue who he is (or even know that he exists) until everyone starts blogging about him being out.
which goes to show, how i totally have no life.
i think im probably the only human in singapore who only watches 1 and a half episode of a.i. for this season. (except for my father of course since he always comes home late)
im sad, i've no life.
.
.
.
.
.
and siti just had to remind me about the biografi karangan when i had totally forgotten bout it and so happy bout the fact that i thought my hmwk is nearly done. this.ish.sho.badXzx.

and now suddenly my ears are blocked. and there's like this weird sound ringing in my ears.
like you know when the doctors try to save someone but they cant and the lifeline suddenly will go like...
"peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet"
okay yeah, you get the gist of it.

~~xoxo~~
hanisah

APPLES!
3:28 AM

Friday, March 14, 2008

secretly and unknowingly,
you made my day.
the more i know you're there,
the more i learn to cherish you.
its not easy doing this.
but this time, im taking control of my feelings.
i wrote a song for you,
but i dont know if i'll ever have a chance,
to sing it to you with all my heart.
i dont know if i'll have the guts to do so.
in case you didnt notice,
i tried being there for you all along.
i showed no signs, no moves.
but i was secretly there with you.
its not easy eyeing your moves without being seen.
but i did and noone noticed.
they had other distractions,
but those were just shallow and fake.
i know you have been through hard times,
times when i dont even know how to help you.
times when all i could do was to pray for you.
i think your charisma makes you stand out,
from the rest whom i thought were real.
you cant see it,
but i smile at every little thing you do.
the way you make me be the best i can be,
its just so surreal.
just by being there,
you're already my motivation.
for this, i'll forever treasure you.
-

i've never felt like i've written any other post thats as sincere as this.
dont be mistaken, dont judge, dont assume.
and dont let this post mislead you.
like i said, its probably one of the most sincere post i've ever written.

hello there special one, thanks for making my day (:

xoxo
hanisah
-
cause you're my dejavu. says:
does your dog chases cats?

Acorns Acorns Acorns says:
my mom is trying to teach my dog to shake hands now,haha. My dog is afriad of cats

Acorns Acorns Acorns says:
he's a very spoiled dog
-
hahah that got me laughing. isnt that something new? :D

APPLES!
5:43 AM

Thursday, March 13, 2008

on wed, it wasnt raining, though it SEEMED like it was raining. but my 2 retarded friends happily opened up their umbrellas and use it all the way to the busstop.

at the busstop...
AR: eh, payung aku kering seh! (my umbrella is dry)
R: mestilah, tak hujan pon! (of course, it wasnt even raining!)

loll we (me, R and AN) had a good time laughing on the way down the hill.) such friends i have, amazing (:
-

i have a confession to make!
i love math.
im not kidding yo. it sounds super retarded but its true.
i like doing math hmwk, though sometimes it kills.
and i rly rly hate doing languages (except for mly p2) and humans (all the stinking essays)
i look forward to math classes and nvr in my whole life have i attended so many math classes. plus, the ppl around me knows how much i dread humans lessons.
ESP LIT. contradicting, very very contradicting.
cause i was looking through my report slip the other day.
and it took me long but yes, i realised my best subj for this ct was lit. LIT!
one of the subjs i always suck at in lower sec. and i usually tend to get a bit dazed during lit lessons.

oh and you know how they say when the world's ending, one of the little signs will be that things will be the opposite?
like say, girls becoming guyish, and guys becoming girlish.
the major one, being the sun rising in the opp direction.
and oooooooh i realised im one of the signs too! :0
cause agn, i only came to realise a few days back tt for once ever, my bio was much better than my combined sci! i nvr get any better than a c6 for my bio and i nvr nvr nvr EVER failed my combined sci. but this time, its the opp. uhuh. i failed combined sci, REALLY BADLY. in fact, its the worst.
i dont understand how my brain functions. tsktsk.
(another good reason to pursue psychology?)

okay i should be doing my work now and not blog hopping or friendster hopping or typing useless posts like this. k bye im off!

(you know what, i think this post somehow contradicts my previous post)

-Clover-

APPLES!
8:58 AM

can we count on each other to make our day,
just like how we used to?

Have you forgotten,
Love brought us together.
So please dont throw it away,
After all that had happened.
Remember when we used to say,
At the end of the day, we're still gonna make it through.

-
Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh let's go back to the start.
Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
Heads on the science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin',
At numbers and figures,
Pullin' the puzzles apart.
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' our tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.
-

just wanna tell you guys,
that I Love You.

-Krushchev-

APPLES!
7:47 AM

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire's burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake the solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you

love,
Clover.

When I turn the lights out
When I close my eyes
Reality overcomes me
I'm living a lie

APPLES!
6:39 AM

Sunday, March 09, 2008

today, not 1 but FOUR of my friends are celebrating their bdays!
though most of em probably wont read this but here goes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JING LI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEF!

yeahh man the gee1 love :D

lots and lots and lots of love,
hanisah

APPLES!
8:50 AM

Saturday, March 08, 2008

today is my friend's bday!
HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY SAB! :D
awesome awesome friend, love you manymany times infinity! MUACKS!

xoxo
hanisah

APPLES!
2:01 PM

yay for me, i finally got down to changing my skin.
now my skin doesnt look so depressing anymore. good.

i chose this skin cause well, i like it and the song too.
i particularly like the model.
no hidden meaning or whatsoever.
im tired of explaining myself over and over again.
and trying to make my stand.

i think that the tagboard's kinda out though.
i nvr realised orange and white doesnt go well.
ahwell. shall change it to blue soon if im in the mood.

for now, i have 3 chaps of amath to do (by mon).
-
A man carrying a small red box in one hand walked slowly down the street. His old straw hat and faded garments looked as if the rain had often beaten upon them, and the sun had as many times dried them upon his person. He was not old, but he seemed feeble; and he walked in the sun, along the blistering asphalt pavement. On the opposite side of the street there were trees that threw a thick and pleasant shade: people were all walking on that side of the street. But the man did not know, for he was blind, and moreover he was stupid.
In the red box were lead pencils, which he was endeavoring to sell. He carried no stick, but guided himself by trailing his foot along the stone coping or his hand along the iron railings. When he came to the steps of a house he would mount them. Sometimes, after reaching the door with great difficulty, he could not find the electric button, whereupon he would patiently descend and go his way.
The man had been out long and had walked far, but had sold nothing. Hunger, with sharp fangs, was gnawing at his stomach and a consuming thirst parched his mouth and tortured him. The sun was broiling. He wore too much clothing - a vest and coat over his shirt. He might have removed these and carried them on his arm or thrown them away; but he did not think of it. A kind woman who saw him from an upper window felt sorry for him, and he wished that he would cross over into the shade.
The man drifted into a side street, where there was a group of noisy, excited children at play. The color of the box which he carried attracted them and they wanted to know what was in it. One of them attempted to take it away from him. With the instinct to protect his own and his only means of sustenance, he resisted, shouted at the children and called them names. A policeman coming round the corner and seeing that he was the center of disturbance, jerked him violently around by the collar; but upon perceiving that he was blind, considerately refrained from clubbing him and sent him on his way. He walked on in the sun.
During his aimless rambling he turned into a street where there were monster electric cars thundering up and down, clanging wild bells and literally shaking the ground beneath his feet with their terrific impetus. He started to cross the street.
Then something happened - something horrible happened that made the women faint and the strongest men who saw it grow sick and dizzy. The motorman's lips were as grey as his face, and that was ashen grey; and he shook and staggered from the superhuman effort he had put forth to stop his car.
Where could the crowds have come from so suddenly, as if by magic? Boys on the run, men and women tearing up on their wheels to see the sickening sight; doctors dashing up in buggies as if directed by Providence.
And the horror grew when the multitude recognized in the dead and mangled figure one of the wealthiest, most useful and most influential men of the town, a man noted for his prudence and foresight. How could such a terrible fate have overtaken him? He was hastening from his business house, for he was late, to join his family, who were to start in an hour or two for their summer home on the Atlantic coast. In his hurry he did not perceive the other car coming from the opposite direction and the common, harrowing thing was repeated.
The blind man did not know what the commotion was all about. He had crossed the street, and there he was, stumbling on in the sun, trailing his foot along the coping.

&

i have seen them inching along
the aged ones with sparse foreheads
hairpieces and pinkie pressed against wall
cautiously feeling
their way like the blind
unsupported, they teeter in tiny
cloth satchels, the lumbering of
torso and absurb hip rockings
thrilling men to poetry
'like the weeping willow she moves
those golden lotuses, lilies of gold'
others praised these motions
for coital ecstasy

folded upon themselves
clumped into a crooked claw
swathed in putrid pain
that tortuous norm they suffered
to keep they cannot now undo
they did not sense conspiracy
to be bandaged into domestic beasts
and call such bondage beauty

grandmother, proud to be Guangdong-born
worked splayed-toed in fields
beside her Hakka men but chose her own
prudish imprisonment by pressing
breasts flat until at seventy
they drooped to her waist
on a hot day she bid me fetch a cloth
to wipe the sweat from her chest
and then she slung her dugs over shoulders
so they hung like leathery scarves

i think of others who have submitted
to surgeries of their tenderest
parts to please or tease
and those of us who perched
on stilettos or squeezed waist
to be breathlessly seductive
when we awaken to our fullest freedom
as women, what real beauty then
-
hell yeah, shoot me please.

-Clover Munchy-

APPLES!
6:07 AM

Friday, March 07, 2008

i cant believe this. a week had gone by just like tt and i swear i didnt even realise it. i rmb telling my cousin last sun, "oh drats. i have sch tmr. DANG."

on a brighter side, the sch's giving us free anti virus, like finally!

this week's kinda chaotic but nice and not so bad.
lets have a proper update shall we?

today my dearest partner decided to abandon me all alone. SOBS.
but its okay, Little Cupcakes became my partner of the day. (yeah thank god, or my partner will have to hear me whine bout my rly horrid cramps all day long)
"i look/feel like a santa claus!"
had lessons till 5. insane but its okay.

yest's pe was awe+some (hahah lameee)
class games/interaction got everyone so hyped up.
bio was...horrifying. our teacher walked out on us. like srsly.
her mood suddenly changed, she got mad and um well, yeah she walked out of the class way before the lesson was supp to end. everyone was speechless. yeah, scary. (ok fine, we made a teacher cry before. but this situation's like rly weird/awkward.)
angklung was quite nice though. i swear me and khalie are fated for everythingggggggg! (heheh i love khalie!)
moodswinged like mad but its okay. i cant gargle for nuts.
i skipped csp. i feel bad.

oh yeah. yest my friend asked me a qn, one i have nvr rly thought of or ponder about. so that got me thinking.
and, my friend agreed with me that !#$%^& is cute!! LOL.
even my friend is not denying it ((:

so thats all i guess. my memory's not that good.
lessons next week are kinda ok i guess. since we dont have mly from 8 to 12 like some ppl (further rubs it in. LOL)
hope it doesnt rain, i want picnic! ((:

oh. guess what. i saw SWK(Snow White King) in the lrt agn the other time, but in the morn otw to sch ((:
one of the fond memories of 171107 (:

-Clover Munchy-

Walau ku masih mencintaimu
Ku harus meninggalkanmu
Ku harus melupakanmu
Meski hatiku menyayangimu
Nurani membutuhkanmu
Kuharus merelakanmu
-
i got an inspiration from farrah's blog.
so now, handsome boy it shall be. (:

strange. but im feeling exactly how hanizah is feeling right now (then?)
(im not going through the whole trouble. so you can go straight to her blog to read)
dang. i miss her

i twisted my words so much yest.
hidden meaning behind my words.
i surprise myself with that unknown capability of mine.
i dropped so many hints and such.
but thank god.
i think everyone will drop dead then.
or think tt im just plain mad.
i'd rather it'll be the latter one.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

nvr thought those words could mean so much now.
ily.

-Aum Krushchev-

APPLES!
6:01 AM

Sunday, March 02, 2008

its 1/2hr to midnight now and i cant go to sleep (you'll find out why later)
plus i cant find anth better to do (besides studying, thats a no no no for now)
so here i am blogging away (agn)

so today, cheap thrills are goood.
later lunch/linner with the other 9 was awesome. had seafood, costed a bomb, but its okay, cause im not the one paying :D (heh heh)
(i think im getting sick of eating stingray almost everyday. OH NO i cant believe this.)
had little bday celebration at coffee bean and it was so sinful i swear.
oh yeah, thats prolly the reason why i cant get to sleep now. though i thought the cake tasted like biscuits mixed with crumbs.
i realised, coffee makes us very high for the first hour or so,
and then make us stone and emo the next.

i think i've gained weight now man. im actually quite disappointed that we havent been having mass run for over a month. and only had pe last thurs after nearly a month too. oh man.

this is so random. but im thinking of a way of persuading my mum to get for me a rabbit for my bday. since she nvr allowed anymore pets after the whole crazy hamster period. (which, in case you dont know, i used to have 30. HAHA i think she's traumatized) aye, but isnt it good to be able to come home and hug something, and have smth like a nodding acquaintance. cats are out of the choice, cause i think they're harder to handle, plus they scratch you and run away from you. nah, nasty.
cause all i want for ~~christmas~~my bday is ~~you~~ a rabbit :D

-Clover Munchy-

laugh, and cry out loud.
this isnt happening, this must not be happening.
once a fantasy forgotten, now revived.
stupid little skunk.
i shouldnt have known, i would rather not know.
so sinful, so so sinful.
people should not go around using the word 'love' so easily.
they're making it seem like such a cheap and meaningless word.
you make me feel so stupid, s-t-u-p-i-d.
stupid little skunk.
i never thought this would happen,
it was just a silly random thing, one that only opp.tweenie. knows.
(no, we're not that close and we're not exactly tt opposite btw. its just a name created by a friend 3 yrs back)
i told her, she laughed, i laughed, we laughed.
but till today, i dont know how much those words mean.
stupid little emotions.
stupid little skunk.
so, stupid little skunk, listen up yo.
cause i want you to know that you hear me,
comfort me by saying you knew all along,
tell me that im right, and that its not wrong.
cause as afraid and doubtful as i am to say this,
i admit,
i need you, you stupid little skunk.

-Aum Krushchev-

APPLES!
7:19 AM

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